a musing julius…

i wanted to rant about some things today. bear with me.

1. the tankdress: tank tops that are too long to be tank tops, and too short to be dresses. usually worn with shoes (underwear optional)
2. political speeches: the most recent egregious speech i heard: kathleen sebelius starting the democratic response to the state of the union by saying, “i’m not going to offer a partisan response today, but an american response.” and then proceeded to riddle off her paty’s agenda providing a more partisan response than the actual state of the union
3. kwame kilpatrick: the mayor of detroit perjured himself in court, cheated on his wife, and swindled the city of detroit out of countless thousands of dollars. now he’s going to go to church and provide an explanation (a la bill clinton) and not resign from office.
4. the church and politics: quickest way to get your constituents to believe your apology: head to church. your story holds more weight if you tell it from the pulpit instead the front of your gated community.
5. that panera cashier: i don’t know what her issue is, but every time i place my order at panera with this woman, “hi, can i get a you-pick-two with broccoli cheddar and frontega chicken please.”  she’ll repeat, “oh, okay, so a you-pick-two, with, tomato right? no. broccoli cheddar. and you wanted the smokehouse turkey? no. frontega chicken. ok, anything to drink?” seriously, just LISTEN to what i’m saying.

anything else bothering anyone? i’m happy to listen.

my next race is in 2 weeks, 6 days. it’s a half-marathon in pensacola, florida, and i’m freaking excited. when i last ran the detroit half-marathon, i had just 8 weeks to prepare. for this race, i’ve had closer to 4 months to prepare. since christmas day, i’ve run over 100 miles training for a 13.1 mile race. my guess is i ran about 70 miles before christmas.

my double super secret goal is to break 1:50 in the half. its ambitious, daft, and seemingly impossible at this point. i feel like 1:54 is more of an attainable goal (just 30 seconds better per mile than my detroit race)

i recall running for the first time in august, preparing for the detroit race, 5 miles, a distance that i never thought i could run. i couldn’t run for 2 days afterwards i hurt so much, but it was attainable. 5 miles is an average day now and while i’m not running 30-50 miles a week, like more serious runners, i feel like i’ve “accomplished” something with myself.

just 6 days before i turn 25, i feel like i hit my quarter life crisis months ago, and now i’ve never been so positive or sure of the things i want to do or accomplish with myself going forward. i have more interesting plans beyond running a lot more. i’m keeping those a bit more secret…but for now, running is the name of the game. and it’s been one hell of a ride run.

my parents were in town to visit the north american international auto show this weekend (and celebrate my birthday) and we had a great weekend…but one of our main talking points we had all weekend was the american economy, gas prices, and america’s addiction to foreign oil.

i’ve already shared my thoughts on e85 and americas love of anything cheaper than gas (even though ethanol is more expensive.) but here we are, 2008 and despite $3.05 for a gallon of gasoline, we still do not care. here’s a great example of our future:

zero people looking at our future. learning about what could potentially power their vehicle in 20 years. while i didn’t take pictures of it, similar scenes were found around every single alternative energy or advanced fuel hybrid vehicle at the show. while this mazda5 probably isn’t a great example, a new tahoe hybrid (i happen to think the tahoe is one of the sharpest looking vehicles on the road) had zero people around it. lines formed around gas guzzling trucks, sports cars and luxury vehicles. handfuls gathered around a chevy volt. crowds waited to sit in the pontiac g8. (i’m angry its cheaper and has more horsepower than my car…thanks exchange rates…)

anyway…it just shocked me, that no one really cares about these cars. in fact, chrysler’s own research indicates that people will not demand alternative vehicle drive trains until gas reaches $13. man, i hope it doesn’t get that high.

i love starbucks. there’s nothing like starting each and every friday with the drink of my choice…sometimes its a mocha, or a chai latte, or something seasonal, like egg nog latte, or pumpkin spice. either way, its all incredible and i love them.

thank you starbucks. you make fridays awesome.

there’s only one thing that america likes more than an underdog: a huge and completely colossal failure. for that reason…american idol is the greatest show on television…the wonderful portion where they show people that think they sounds like mariah carey, or frank sinatra, or some other great singer.

don’t know what it is…but when people think they’re the shit, and they’re not, it’s funny right? i know 100% that if i tried out for american idol, i’d be one of the failures they show on tv. i can’t hit a note to save my life. i couldn’t hit a note if i kept my mouth shut and played a cd in the background. there’s probably a 100 different things which i cannot do well, but still do them (like dance.) the difference here is, i cannot claim to do those 100 things well.

maybe it’s because everyone’s parents told them they could do anything they want. just dream it, and you can become it. sorry, kid. chances are, well…no. you can’t.

sorry, i’ll never become a center in the nba. i will never become an astronaut despite my dreams at a younger age. i’ll never become the ceo of ford, boeing or any fortune 500 company. as my buddy steve says: “i’ll never fight off a t-rex with a bronze spear”

truer words have never been spoken.

the michigan deposit law is the stupidest and most idiotic law ever. for those unaware, michigan charges a 10 cent deposit for “beverage containers” (glass, paper, airtight metallic containers, or plastic with a volume of less than 1 gallon) that contain a “beverage” (which is defined as any non-alcoholic carbonated drink, or beer, ale, carbonated malt beverages or mixed wine or spirit drinks.) 11 other states have enacted similar laws.

the reason the law was enacted was two reasons:

1. michigan’s recycling rates dropped below many states in the country
2. michigan’s litter rate was increasing rapidly 

based on MDOT evidence, the michigan litter rate along major roadways did infact drop, from 200+ containers per mile to 45 containers per mile. but the recycling bit…here are some fun facts.

1. the michigan law does not require bottlers to recycle the beverage containers that they collect. only that they must collect them from retailers that collect bottles from consumers.
2. michigan does not collect statistics on beverage container return rates. it only measures the amount of money collected and paid out by the treasury. sadly, this also means fraud calculations are not included in any of the published numbers paid out by the state for bottle deposits. however, research by the state of michigan estimates fraud on returning out of state beverage containers reaches 50-150 million containers a year. that’s $5-15 million in cash paid out by the state.

michigan’s own research shows that each container under the bottle bill law has a financial impact of $0.025 per container. no bottle bill has a financial impact of $0.001. that’s a savings, based on michigan data of close to $90 million a year split between retailers, bottlers, distributers and the state. the bottle law itself, well, that generates, on average of the 16 years of data i see, the state collects an average of just $12 million for use by the treasury!

another unintended consequence of the bottle deposit law is that curbside recycling has dwindled in michigan communities…which does not help with recycling other plastics and papers not covered by the law. personally, i also feel that homelessness rates are higher in areas that have bottle deposit laws. sadly, no educational papers have been written on the subject, but there have been papers written about low-income families supplementing their income using bottle deposit laws by collecting beverage containers.

here’s my fix:

1. get rid of the deposit law. it’s stupid! the recycling statistics were taken in the late 70’s, when the environment was of no concern to americans. now, it’s cool to be environmentally friendly, and our recycling statistics could rival those of states without deposit laws. 
2. use the $100 million saved each year ($90 million cost of the bottle program per year, plus $10 million paid out to fraudlent redeemers) and provide tax incentives to retailers and bottlers to implement an improved recycling programs and infrastructure in michigan communities.
3. ensure that curbside collections are indeed being recycled (something that is NOT currently required by the michigan bottle deposit law)
4. impose heavy fines on those that litter and offer rewards to anyone that reports littering or dumping.

quick fix, save the state money, improve the environment, save the average michigan household $25 a year, while saving the state, retailers, distributers and bottlers millions per year, which can go to create new jobs, something michigan so desperately needs.

i roamed the detroit autoshow yesterday, as i do each and every year…examining not my current employer’s line-up of vehicles, but more of the competition’s line-up.

the luxury marque brands, like maserati, lamborghini, bentley, rolls-royce, etc. usually hire tall leggy models in very skimpy dresses that stand next to their vehicles, doing nothing but smiling for the camera, and tilting their heads in a robotic blonde-like manner. these stands attract only the finest of male specimens, with fancy abercrombie shirts, collar popped, backwards baseball cap, and a set of jeans that came with a $25 “worn-look” option. some wore flip-flops, even though it was 7 degrees in detroit yesterday.

lamborghini’s stand was surrounded by these 20-something males, cameras extended at arms length above their heads, straining to take a picture of this car, with the model. frankly, i’m not interested in these cars. chances are, i’ll never be able to afford one, but i’ve sat in some, and driven others. they’re great machines…i wouldn’t mind a alfa romeo 8c competizione. but other than that, i don’t really care for a picture of these cars. i don’t understand why some men desire these photos. frankly, if you actually went to a dealer, they’ll (gasp!) let you sit in them.

if i want a picture, it’s of the CAR, not of the GIRL. i actually saw some guys asking for pictures with just the models at these stands, posing with these women they’ll never date, behind a car they’ll never own.

i guess the autoshow presents a fantasy for some of these guys. i suppose i’m not that interested in these cars, cause i read about or see them everyday. but if i really really wanted a picture of these cars, because they’re unique or rare, i’d ask the model to step away. she’s ruining the photo.

my buddy naim wrote a great article on why he hates e85 today and i felt like backing him up, but in a different way.

e85 is america’s response to bitching about gas prices. yeah, it’s $3. big deal. it’s actually cheaper than that stupid bottle of water you bought today, because you’re too good for tap water. what? don’t believe me. that bottle of aquafina you bought today probably cost $1.49 cents for 20 oz. 20 oz. of gas at $3.05 a gallon costs…wait for it…47 cents. you’re overpaying for your water (WHICH IS FREE) by a dollar. not amazing, a gallon of your bottled water (which is just filtered tap water if you’re buying aquafina or dasani) is $9.53!!!!!!

corn is the lifeblood of the american economy. sadly, u.s. corn subsidies destroy the world. (there is a correllation to u.s. corn subsidies and the destruction of the amazonian rain forest.*) between 1995 and 2004, the government spent $41.9 billion on corn subsidies. taxpayers paid that out of their pockets, to give to the american farmer. yay.

now, i recommend everyone see king corn, which is basically a movie about corn in america. note, most of the corn you see on the side of the road is produced as feed for livestock, and not for human consumption.

now, some of our corn is going to produce ethanol. great, except that using corn for ethanol now makes the supply of corn used for corn-based products such as high fructose corn syrup (which is in everything) go down, making prices go up. allegedly, if the price of high fructose corn syrup were to go up just 1/10th of a cent, it would cost coca-cola $125 million dollars.

corn based ethanol takes a lot of energy to make. in fact, more fossil fuels are burned to create ethanol from corn, than the resulting energy contained in the ethanol. what this means…is that ethanol is NOT renewable. corn itself is renewable, but the process by which it is converted to ethanol is not renewable. we’ll spend more energy than we get, and eventually, we’ll run out of the energy to create ethanol.

sugarcane is a much better source for ethanol, or beets, or switchgrass. but our subsidies, environment and tariffs on imported sugar make growing or importing these things either really expensive, or just not a value proposition for a farmer, who could just grow corn, and always get the government to pay for a large portion of their crop. the government does pay for farmers to grow switchgrass.

anyway, corn based ethanol is a killer. in the end, as naim says, ethanol is a crappy stop-gap to solve the energy crisis. only more efficient energy equations will create a truly renewable energy source. but really, we just need more nuclear power plants.

*u.s. farmers stopped planting soy in lieu of planting corn to collect government subsidies. supply of soy dropped tremendously, causing the price of soy to jump. brazilian’s have taken the opportunity to exploit the mass expanse of land they have tied up in rain forests, to plant soy.

i want to send a big shout out to the idiot that invented the phrase, “it is what it is…” this is stupidity at its finest.

my personal opinion is that americans are awkward in social situations. they struggle to converse with other people intelligently about a subject which goes beyond the weather. we default to “hey, how’s it going? cold/nice/hot outside, huh?” and the response is almost always “doing good. yeah great day to sit inside/go for a walk/sit inside.” aside from the obvious grammatical error with a response of “doing good”, we never truly open up to individuals in passing conversation. no one ever responds with “not doing so great, but thanks for asking.” 

i default to a typical, “hey how’s it going?” and before they’re even done saying, “doing good” i’ll instantly say, “that’s great, i’m doing well” just assuming they’ll ask me how i was doing. sometimes, i’ll ask them AGAIN how they’re doing. just for fun. thats when those people are happy they live 4 floors below me…so they can get off the elevator almost immediately.

but never in my life has a phrase been so ridiculous as, “it is what it is…”(which is almost always recited with a large sigh at the end) thank you, oh inventor of this stupid phrase. before you we struggled to explain it to ourselves, we didn’t have an answer for it. but no, thanks to you, we do.

it.

the venerable tube sock. oh, how wonderful you are. you bring odor protection and moisture absorbtion to millions of american men and women every day. you are cheap, come in packs of 6, 12 and 30 (just like beer) and your favorite brands can be purchased right next to your favorite set of craftsman tools near the check out aisle at sears.

i’ve already admonished men for their stupidity in wearing pants that are too short and i felt that was my largest pet peeve when it came to men dressing themselves. however, i’ve found the newest issue: the tube sock and dress shoes.

guys…white tube socks are for tennis shoes, running shoes, gym shoes (if you’re still 6) or for lounging around your house. they are NOT for anything else! i cannot tell you how frustrating it is to see you walking with your dark khaki pants that are ridiculously short, and seeing your white tube socks go into your brown dockers. when did you think that was okay? how?

rule of thumb: if your shoes aren’t tennis shoes, walking shoes, running shoes, or gym shoes, you shouldn’t be wearing tube socks. i swear this cannot be difficult. hell, since you need real simple rules, since dressing seems to be beyond many of you…if you’re going to work, just wear black socks. i don’t care if you’re wearing brown shoes or pants or whatever, just don’t wear tube socks.

i ensure i’ll go to work tomorrow and see at least 3 people wearing wing tip shoes, with tube socks and dark pants. nothing like seeing that each day.