dear rooster,

for my entire life, i found the comeidic value in seeing you in cartoons, commercials, and movies; a cheap and relatively easy gag. someone is somewhere new, obviously has had a late night of drinking, working or just having trouble sleeping. 20 minutes before the sun comes up, you chime up with your famous “cock-a-doodle-doo” (or something like that) and person wakes up. studio audience laughs, viewers at home laugh, overpriced tv or film actor gets a large check. he only had to act like he was tired.

well mr. german rooster. today, my first day in germany when i felt like i could actually get some valuable rest, you had to open your big fat beak. the minute the sun came up, which you could barely see through the haze that defines the sky right now, your ass was singing away for god knows what reason. are you freaking serious?!?! you couldn’t even make the stereo typical sounds that american roosters make. hell, my alarm clock makes a better rooster sound than you. (although i tend to think aspiring radass would disagree)

you were more of a “cock-a doooo-errr-ooo-cah-oooo”…which i’ve determined is the most annoying sound i’ve ever heard with my own ears.

tomorrow is supposed to be nicer, with the sun coming up without clouds or haze. i want to sleep so badly tomorrow, so i hope your ass can give me a break.

thanks,
sleepless in germany

update: now i actually have a non-sarcastic reason to thank the rooster. since coming to germany, i’ve had troubles adjusting to sleep, and have always missed the breakfast at my hotel. because rooster woke me up on time today, i was actually able to eat a breakfast which is similar to my diet at home (fruit, yogurt, granola, etc.) i can’t tell you how good breakfast made me feel, considering what i’ve learned about german cuisine is that it’s like cuisine everywhere else in the world, except here they ladle gravy on top of it, or sauce, or melted fat. either way, my stomach feels happy!