i use a specific urinal at work. there, i said it.

it’s mine. i always use it. never have i walked in and not used it. in fact, i’m sure if someone else was using it when i walked in, i’d probably hide in a stall until it was free, then i’d jump out and reclaim it as my own. luckily this hasn’t happened to date.

strangely, this urinal doesn’t fit my formula for choosing a urinal, but its the one i always go to. i guess i don’t eat my own dog food. but whatever. imagine my shock and awe when i arrived to find my urinal out of order. idly covered in a plastic bag, indicating that it was not only to be avoided, but any attempts to use it would yield unpleasant “backsplatter,” the bane of many business professionals wearing light colored slacks.

i stood for many moments and thought this is what life is like: your favorite urinal covered by an out of order sign.

i didn’t like it. they better fix that damn thing soon.