so based on some input to yesterdays blog post, i decided i’d write briefly about “the game.”

men and women play a game with each other. there are no teams, no goals, no fields. the game isn’t played with a ball, or a stick. its played with emotions, its played with tears, and sweat, and heartache, like any sport. its dating, relationships, marriage, whatever. men and women naturally gravitate towards each other. it is this gravitation that leads to the playing of the game.

i’m not quite sure when i realized my life was part of the game. i feel sometime around high school, i learned that there was something eerie about how boys and girls (or men and women) interacted. i’m not quite sure when i started playing the game, or if i’m still playing it right now. i’ve never believed in the game. i never wanted to play, and whenever i have played, i’ve lost.

usually, the game is played with one other person. when you play the game, you bet all your chips on red. the wheel doesn’t stop spinning until the person you’re playing with stops it. there’s nothing that says when they must stop the wheel. it just spins, constantly. during this time, friendly banter occurs. chatter will happen between two people. learning, judging, guessing. 99.9% of the time, someone is withholding information regarding the outcome. it is that little tidbit that makes the game so shitty. 99.9% of the time, someone is “the house” and they hold the advantage. they know the odds of the game, and they decide when you win or lose. its a sad truth, but someone will always have more information about the outcome, and withhold it from the other player. its happened to me countless times, and i’ve done it countless times. its part of the game.

that being said, i dislike the game, but i understand its purpose. it is next to impossible to find someone to play the game with that will be 100% honest and forthcoming about their intentions. herein is the rub with playing. someone bet all their chips, and they can’t walk away. most of us play with one person, and one person alone. we either end up being the house, or the gambler. most of the time, the house wins.

it’s only when the player takes control of the situation, where a player can beat the game. so how can a player beat the game…

  1. don’t bet all your chips. don’t show the person you’re playing with all your emotions or your intentions. the other person doesn’t know how much they can take from you until you show them. your best weapon is to keep that to yourself.
  2. play with multiple people. of course you can’t do this unless you have some time, emotions, etc. to spare, but if you do have that to spare, you can play the game with many people, and gain valuable experience. it also prevents you from betting it all with one person.
  3. take control. so often one person believes they are not in control. “once your chips are on the table, they are on the table,” they would say. however, what they don’t realize is that they are most in control when they walk away. there’s nothing that says you can’t stop and leave. (this writer encourages it.)
  4. bet big, and if the other person can’t pay you, walk away. when you’re ready to bet big, you need to show the person you’re playing with that you’re here to stay. you can bet your emotions, sweat and tears. if they can’t pay you the same in return, you need to pick up and leave.

so many of my friends are seemingly used or “worked over” by the house. I, myself, have been reamed once or twice by the house. i bet big, and i couldn’t walk away. the one time i did walk away, i came right back and bet again.

i don’t like the game. i understand it, but i hate it. i’ve hurt people playing it, and i’ve been hurt playing it. 

but once in a while, you’ll find someone that doesn’t want to play the game with you. they don’t want you to bet. they aren’t into games, and they aren’t into betting against you. they know you’re a sure fire winner each and everytime. deep down, you know they’re a sure fire winner too.